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Total Volleyball Makeover

    At the beginning of the year, Ryan Doherty and I got passed over for a wildcard for the US-run Fort Lauderdale FIVB. We were next in line on points to get the main draw wildcard into a 5-star event. But we got passed over for another team ranked below us. I don’t mean any ill will so I won’t mention who that team was.

    Random picture.

    It was a bummer for us, especially since we lost in the game to get in and failed to qualify, which led me to miss out on USAV stipend for the summer, which forced me to get a part-time job at Jamba Juice, which led me to eat way too many Peanut Butter Moo’ds, which led my wife to no longer find me attractive, and on and on. But whatever. Ryan and I still had a chance to play, we just didn’t perform well enough to win.

    During the year the AVP announced a final event in Hawaii. Everyone was excited. Another AVP tourney! In Hawaii!!!

    Then it was announced the tournament would only have 3 American teams. Two who earned their spot, and one who was Hawaiian.

    But the good news was the new King of the Court tour would be holding a tournament alongside the event, giving more AVP athletes opportunities to play. Seven AVP men’s teams would get a spot. Ryan and I finished the year with the 3rd most total points for the season, having gone to every AVP event. Surely, we’d be one of the seven. I looked through my garage for my snorkel gear while I waited for my invitation. It never came.

    I asked Ryan what we did to piss off the AVP. Why were lower ranked teams passing us to get these opportunities? It became apparent how big of a roll social media and marketability was playing in these decisions. Without any kind of points system, promoters are free to handpick whatever teams they want for their events. This makes complete sense. If they believe a certain team will bring in more fans or make the event more exciting they are able to bring them in and pass over a boring, non-dancing team like us.

    I moped about the favoritism for a couple days, like a player who lost his starting spot to the coach’s more handsome son, then I decided to jump on board. If these are the rules of the game, I better learn how to play. I needed to rework my bland, easily forgettable image. I needed to up my marketability.

    I needed a Total Volleyball Makeover.

    So, in my initial frustration I posted this passive aggressive post.

    #totalvolleyballmakeover

    I got a lot of feedback, including from other players who could relate. They were in a similar situation, ranked higher but passed over by teams with more Instagram followers or who had a “gimmick.”

    I kept going with this mock makeover, creating a sarcastic marketing push. Maybe it would actually get me more fans. Maybe it would somehow get me more opportunities to play in extra tournaments. But mostly I thought it would be funny.

    Approaching the social media game as an outsider, I’d seen companies have people “takeover” their accounts. I’d even done a takeover for the AVP account in Seattle—though, apparently, I did it wrong because I didn’t know the difference between a “story” and a “post.” So I thought it would be funny to have a fake takeover of my personal Instagram account. And Taylor Crabb was the perfect choice.

    1. He is popular with the younger crowd (“hello ladies”).
    2. He’d be up for it.

    So I sent Taylor a message with my idea to warn him. It went like this:

    So I had my friend Dan Madden help me photoshop some images of Taylor and me together. Of course, we put Taylor’s brother Trevor in the background.

    Taylor’s Coach was actually asked by a fan if Taylor was playing with me instead of Jake. I guess Dan’s photoshop skills were too good.
    Janelle’s head was originally supposed to go on Rich Lambourne’s body. She wasn’t too happy. Ketch was a better fit, anyway.

    The Taylor Takeover got a good response but didn’t net me any new followers.

    To continue the joke, I recycled some old Kinda Good videos that fit with the theme of the makeover.

    Explode! was the last Kinda Good video we made (the video is actually of decent quality). We shot this in 2011, inspired by the high-energy team of Loomis/Patterson. It stars the underrated Nils Nielsen and an original song by Dan Madden. I’d forgotten how funny it was.

    The Explode! video was new to a lot of people. Over five times as many people viewed it on the first day I posted it on Instagram and Facebook than have EVER viewed it on Youtube since 2011!

    The following week I posted another recycled Kinda Good Video, Matt Heagy’s Pick Up Lines (While Picking Up Lines). This video was also fit in with my makeover. Matt’s video course gave me confidence on and off the court.

    The funniest part about the Total Volleyball Makeover is that it actually works! A couple weeks after starting the campaign, Ryan and I just received the main draw wildcard for the FIVB in Las Vegas! An Olympic qualifying event!

    Okay, yes, we are the next highest ranked team. And some would say that detail is the reason we received the wildcard. But if I’ve learned anything from my Total Volleyball Makeover, it’s that volleyball has little to do with it.